Stranger Than Usual

Basically, don't worry about time.

Until it's too late.

This is Gideon. When would it be convenient for you to die?

• “Do you always refer to him by his full name?”
• “Who, Steven Stills? Yes.”

I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.

He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived.

Gideon stole the Power Of Love! What a dick!

I don't care too much for money

Money can't buy me love

Stupid girls and their stupid pretty smiles.

The way you say it's not a "big deal" is what makes it a big deal, you moron.

Of course you know this means war!

Aber wissen Sie, man kann sich ja nur irgendwo hin fassen, wenn dann nur am Kopf.

Quentyn: "SQUIDGE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY MOTHER'S KITCHEN??"

Squidge: "Eatin' pie."

Quentyn: "I can see that, but why are you here??

Squidge: "…cause this where pie is."

This can all result in the land being saved from a horde of extremely feeble monsters by a strangely competent chronic insomniac.

Bielefeld existiert nicht.

Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.

OH MY GOD. Sankis is on a bloody rampage! He mauled a baby and a cow, and now, at this very instant, he's beating the Elite Marksdwarf Kadol Lokumad into paste!

DID I MENTION HE IS ON FUCKING FIRE!??

Seagull: "Sieh es ein: Der dritte Rufus hat es auch vermasselt."

Rufus: "Der dritte Rufus hat es nicht vermasselt!"

ring ring

Rufus: "Nanu? Was ist das? Mein Babyfon klingelt. Ja? Hallo?"

Dritter Rufus: "ICH HABE ES VERMASSEEEEEEELLLT!!!!!"

Rufus: "Mhm. Alles klar. Danke."

Yeah, if you take it this seriously, you're a fuckin' nerd too.

Dear diary,

yesterday, I put in a simple request regarding the door to the garden, but, seemingly out of sheer spite, the authorities refused to hold the door open long enough for me to decide whether I'll go inside or outside…

or inside…

or outside…

We had a problem with one of the desserts. Our attentions are focused on freeing Tiffany, who has been adhered to the floor.

I think there's no actual porn here. You're just turned on by filesystems.

Thank you so much! I don't know how our prized lockpicking gorilla escaped, but…

So it appears that Iron Man is either powered by Open Source software or made of Lego. I’m not sure which is cooler.

I hate when people take photos of their meal instead of eating it, because there's nothing I love more than the sound of other people chewing.

Oh, well, bureaucracy is like an onion. You have to peel through layer after layer after layer, and you’re crying the whole way through.

Elliot: "He's doomed."

Susan: "He's an ass."

Elliot: "He's a doomed ass."

Kaitlyn: "So your fate rests on my mother's ability to cover for you."

Ursula: "Then it's over. All is lost."

There's no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people.

Sieh mich an! Warum warte ich zu nachtschlafender Zeit auf den Bus?! Das ist unnatürlich und ungesund!

java's memory handling strategy can generally be described in three words

"om nom nom"

»Wir werden streiken«, schrie Vrumfondel.

»Genau!«, stimmte Magikweis zu. »Dann habt ihr einen landesweiten Philosophenstreik am Hals!

»Hör zu, Ich bin Zaphod Beeblebrox, mein Vater war Zaphod Beeblebrox der Zweite, mein Großvater Zaphod Beeblebrox der Dritte...«

»Was?«

»Es passierte irgendein Unglück mit einem Kondom und einer Zeitmaschine.«

Despite Blue constantly claiming how much better he is than Red, he's lost literally every fight with Red so far sometimes in a matter of minutes. Considering the fact that Red can't get out of a fucking supermarket without making it into a freaking ordeal, that's saying something.

source .bash\_history

<patagonicus> Finde es lustiger, Cloud immer durch Clown zu ersetzen. "We’re a Clown based business!" "We store our data in the Clown!"

For instance, the way to maximize acceleration is to thrust straight downward; however, thrusting downward is clearly not a viable course of action for a rocket intending to reach orbit.[citation needed]

The misguided search for a perpetual motion machine has run substantially longer than any attempted perpetual motion machine.

For clarification, the temperature was 40-42 degrees Celsius, no cloud cover, blazing sunshine, fire danger rating critical. The Bureau of Meteorology estimated sunburn occurring in approximately 11 minutes… and Google thinks it's snowing.

Assuming estimated average cruising airspeed of an unladen European swallow | Use estimated average cruising airspeed of an unladen African swallow instead

Don't question why she needs to be so free
she'll tell you it's the only way to be.

I know my subconscious, and it should never be allowed to run rampant in my audiovisual cortex.

HINT: People who make buttumptions about their regex scripts, will be embarbutted when they repeat this mbuttive mistake.

If you wanted to stay lost forever, you made one mistake.

You took my hat.

I like my hat.

Obwohl Quarks viel zu klein sind, als dass sie eine Farbe, einen Geschmack oder irgendeine andere erkennbare physikalische Eigenschaft haben könnten, gruppierte man sie in sechs Kategorien: up, down, strange, charm, top und bottom. Die Physiker bezeichnen diese Gruppen seltsamerweise als »Geschmäcker« (flavors) und unterteilen sie nochmals in drei »Farben«: rot, grün und blau. (Die Begriffe wurden in Kalifornien zur Zeit der psychedelischen Drogen geprägt ­— man hat den Verdacht, dass dies kein Zufall war.)

You're surprised? She's outsmarted us before, right?

I mean, if they write this down, they ain't gonna be calling it "Boy Genius."

• "He's going to be a grad student, just like his daddy!"
• "He can't be grad student!"
• "Why not? It's a noble profession!"
• "Mike, being a student is NOT a profession."

Für einen Rechner, der Windows ausführt, wurde der Begriff WC vorgeschlagen.

All your Bayes are belong to us.

Lee: "It's a blood plasma screen."

Cedrik: "The 'HD' stands for 'Hell-Damned'."

…jeder der "exit" in seine bashrc schreibt und mich ewig danach suchen lässt wieso man sich nid einloggen kann wird ab sofort gesteinigt