Stranger Than Usual

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What is it with you people and windows?!

Jason Chesterfield (It's Walky)

Haha! Not just cows, laser cows! They keep the grass trim.

Just like real cows!

Only with lasers.

Bob (Gunnerkrigg Court)
  • Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTOs.
  • Real Programmers can write five page long DO loops without getting confused.
  • Real Programmers like Arithmetic IF statements-- they make the code more interesting.
  • Real Programmers write self-modifying code, especially if they can save 20 nanoseconds in the middle of a tight loop.
  • Real Programmers don't need comments-- the code is obvious.
Real Programmers

This is an engraving of a Scamps and a shoe by 'Toady One' Adams. The Scamps is striking a menacing pose. The shoe is making a plaintive gesture. The artwork relates to the mortal wounding of a shoe by a Scamps in the late Spring of 2009 during the umpteenth attempted siege of the living room by shoes.

Dwarf fortress wiki

This is serious business!

Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?

Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.

Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl, mate.

— Pirates of the Caribbean

Droggelbecher? Droggelbecher.

— Droggelbecher (Droggelbecher)

Minecraft ADS:

Aufmerksamkeitsdefizit... SCHAFE!

Idiotenhunde!

Gronkh

Everybody stand back.

I know regular expressions.

xkcd

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

Ha!

It'll take more than

  • being tied to a lit keg of explosives
  • and tossed into a pit of acid
  • filled with mutant, acid-resistant flying piranhas
  • equipped with flame-throwers and battle-axes
  • while venomous mechanical, missile-launching morris dancers
  • armed with liquid nitrogen harpoon guns are overhead; riding giant, rabid killer bees, with side-mounted death rays

to kill Othar Tryggvassen!

Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman Adventurer (Girl Genius)

In your Phase, Cosine!

Barbossa: So what now, Jack Sparrow? Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?

Jack Sparrow: Or you could surrender.

— Pirates of the Caribbean

I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!!

Belkar Bitterleaf(Order of the stick)

Den Kaktus behalten wir.

Styrofoam is not an appropriate component for golems.

Things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG 455

No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Raise Dead on the turkey

— Gary (The Gamers: Dorkness rising)

Hey - wait a second. I know who you are now!

You're that guy! The one who kept getting pissed off at me for not remembering... something.

Xykon (Order Of The Stick)

DIE BY THE SHELLS OF YOUR FALLEN COMRADES, YOU @#$! TURTLES!

I'm actually okay with turtles, but these ones kidnap princesses. That's just wrong.

Grace Sciuridae (El Goonish Shive)

Man, is it uphill on the way home, too? How is that possible?

This campus is a friggin' Escher print.

Walky (Dumbing of Age)

Beware the power of procrastination.

frei nach "Piled higher and Deeper"

I’ve always thought that one of the the great thing about physics is that you can add more digits to any number and see what happens and nobody can stop you.

xkcd: what if?

Urist McMiner cancels drink: Interrupted by carp.

Dwarf Fortress

I am not lazy, I am an effort minimalist.

The nameless hero (Piled higher and Deeper)

Integrieren ist Summieren für Angeber.

— Professor S. Winter

So the merchants arrive to see blood and vomit everywhere, us hauling corpses en masse to the graveyard, a couple rampaging elephants

WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED!

StarkRavingMad (Boatmurdered)

You can wield a sword, shield, and crutch all in one hand, so even if you are missing an arm then you're all set. If you are missing both arms but still have both legs then unfortunately you'll be limited to biting, dodging, and wrestling with legs. If you're missing both arms and one leg then your movement will be limited and you'll be limited to biting and wrestling with your one remaining leg. And if all limbs are missing then you'll be limited to rolling around on the ground biting things.

Dwarf fortress wiki

Rufus: "seufz Was für eine Frau."

Doc: "Spinnst du? Sie wird uns alle umbringen!"

Rufus: "Ich finde sie lässig."

— Chaos auf Deponia

I tremble in the presence of your terrifying skills of gardening, Ysengrin.

Renard (Gunnerkrigg Court)

Rekursion kann töricht sein.

— Prof. Simon

Ich bin Guybrush Threepwood, ein mächtiger Pirat.

— Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island)

Gil: "Are you kidding?! Look at that thing!"

Agatha: "Yesterday, you took out a whole army of clanks!"

Gil: "That was a small army. This is a big spider!"

Girl Genius

Holy shit.

Guys.

People are complicated!

xkcd

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit.

Quelle

Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger

Badger song

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

— Zork

'Quick, you must come with me,' she said. 'You're in great danger!'

'Why?'

'Because I will kill you if you don't.'

— Conina and Rincewind (Sourcery)

Meine Anfrage Betreffs Meinzerhagen konterte der Computer mit einer Gegenfrage — ich sollte die Endzielangaben konkretisieren:

»Wollen Sie nach Meinzerhagen-Bausparkasse, Meinzerhagen-Apotheke, Meinzerhagen-Stadthalle oder Meinzerhagen-Valbert?«

Wenn der Computer selbst anfängt, Fragen zu stellen, dann ist das ein schlechtes Zeichen. Dieses Überangebot an Endstationen konnte nur eins bedeuten: dass es in Meinzerhagen keinen Bahnhof gibt.

— Wladimir Kaminer, Mein deutsches Dschungelbuch

Wenn ich in einem Supermarkt Produkt A suche, dann überlege ich mir, wo man es denn sinnvollerweise hinpacken könnte und suche dann woanders. Das klappt erstaunlich gut.

The website is not clean and simple enough! We need to add more stuff until it is!

Clients From Hell

I reassign null to be the tape device - it's so much more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up backups too, so it can't be all bad can it? Of course not.

Bastard Operator From Hell

Erstens: Pläne finden

Zweitens: Welt retten

Drittens: raus aus meinem Haus!

— Dr. Fred Edison (Day of the tentacle)

Excuse me, but real programmers use butterflies.

xkcd

Haha! Watch, as human technology crumbles before me!

Renard (Gunnerkrigg Court)

»Im Stadtmuseum gibt es einen erhaltenen Rattenkönig. Er schwimmt in einem großen Glas mit Alkohol.«

»Ist er tot?«

»Oder sehr, sehr betrunken.«

— Maurice der Kater

ROMANES EVNT DOMVS

— Das Leben des Brian

Dupree. When I say the words "Alive and unharmed"—

—do any neurons actually fire in that brain of yours?

Baron Wulfenbach (Girl Genius)

You have finished eating the rotten kobold corpse.

— nethack (after I accidently hit the wrong keys)